Lovin' Him was Red
by tovictorsthespoils
Summary: Songfic set to Taylor Swift's Red, which I think is perfect for them. Please note I wrote this before the season finale. After joining with the vigilante, Roy has to break things off with Thea. Interwoven drabbles about the pain it causes them both. Fluff/Angst


Red- Taylor Swift

Thea/Roy

**Lovin' him was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street.**

This was new to Thea. This was a thrill ride where she couldn't predict the outcome, or even the next turn. She didn't know if she'd be safe. She was being reasonable when she guessed she wouldn't be able to continue for as long as she'd want to.

**Faster than the wind, passion as a sin, ended so suddenly.**

Everything was so different with him. Not different as in weird, different as in exhilaration she's never known. Her friends and family wouldn't approve. Roy was from a different world. Not a prim and proper world of class like the guys she was supposed to like. The Glades was his world, a rough and tough place where violence meant survival. She shouldn't feel the way she does. She was a rich bitch, a Starling City Queen; she wasn't supposed to feel this strongly about a street rat. But she did. But that didn't matter, because soon enough he was gone.

**Lovin' him was like trying to change your mind once you already flying through the free fall.**

Roy was bad news; he'd admit it himself. What else could he be? Thea knew that, she could _feel_ that. But she was already in too deep. It scared her to be in love. Because that's what it was, love. And sometimes she thought about backing out and running. But she never could.

**Like the colors of autumn so bright just before they lose it all**

All the time she was afraid of her own feelings was irrelevant. Because eventually she was alone. Roy was gone. She hated that she had ever been afraid. It was like the wind had come through, ripping him away like autumn leaves. But there was no wind. He left by his own accord.

**Losing him was blue like I've never known**

**Missin' him was dark grey all alone**

**Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met**

The first few days he was gone were the worse. He was all she could think about. She kept wondering . . . why? Everything had been going pretty well, much better than any other relationship she'd ever had. Roy ended it so suddenly. She had been shocked, and of course she argued, but it was Roy, so of course she lost. She could never have guessed how much she would miss him. She told herself, "Thea, you need to forget him." All the same, 20 minutes later when the tears were welling up she would have to remind herself of her own words, and feebly try to push him from her mind.

**But loving him was**_** RED**_

**Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you.**

The Starling City young and rich had a system. Party as long as you could, and once you took over your families company, become respectable, and marry someone just as rich and respectable. Thea always assumed she'd have the standard semi- arranged marriage to a rich boy her family approved of. At first, Roy was just a kid from the Glades she wanted to help. She guesses she realized the truth that first time she kissed him. It all was suddenly so clear. She didn't care about respectability, or sophistication, that their only worry was being able to contact their families, and she certainly didn't care about money. What she wanted was obvious. She wanted him.

**Memorizing him was easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song**

Though Roy would hate to admit it, he wasn't a very complicated guy. He wanted to survive and keep those he loved safe, and he was willing to do whatever he needed for those purposes. So for Thea, it didn't take long to catch on. She never forgot a single detail. Everything about him was filed safely in her mind, as easy to bring back as an old lyric. And most importantly, she liked everything she learned.

**Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer**

When he came to her that night, when he came to break up with her and break her heart, she fought. She argued, she shouted and screamed at him. Roy started out calm, he knew Thea well enough to know what to expect. But he wasn't known for his patience, and as Thea fought him he began to fight back. He was impossible as normal, but he never shouted at Thea, and made no move when she slapped him across the cheek. Her shock hadn't faded the whole time, and later that's what she blamed. But that wasn't it. She had been fighting a losing battle. And the argument simply continued, until she lost the battle and she lost him. Her last words replayed and replayed in her head. _"Your leaving, then fine, JUST LEAVE!" _she ordered. The weight of those words crashed down on her once he was out of sight. He had done what she said. Left. And Thea was powerless to stop him.

**Regretting him was like wishing you never found out love could be that strong**

Moira eventually had their head of security dig up the old key to Thea's door. She found her daughter curled up on the window seat, tears stained onto her face and pale from the lack of food.

"Thea, you've been in here for almost two days, come have something to eat."

But Thea would not budge. When Moira tried to get her to talk, she just burst into a fresh stream of tears. This worried her mother. She'd ever seen her daughter so upset over a boy. Moira never met Roy, she only knew him as that boy Thea's been seeing. But remembering her own heartbreak after losing Robert, Moira sat with her daughter, muttering comforting words.

"I just miss him so much." Thea admitted to her mother once she had calmed down slightly.

"I know sweetheart. When I lost your father, I wished I could forget every emotion I ever had for him." Moira said.

"But that's the thing, Mom." Thea sat up and looked deadly serious. " I don't WANT to forget. Whatever I felt with him, it was the most amazing way I've ever felt. I don't want to lose that."

**Losing him was blue like I've never know**

**Missing him was dark grey all along**

**Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met**

**But loving him was **_**RED**_

**Remembering him comes in flashbacks, and echoes. Tell myself its time now, gotta let go. But moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head.**

He had driven her crazy. She was absolutely sure of it. He tended to always be on her mind. But sometimes it just intensified, and she felt a surge of every emotion she knew so strong she thought she'd explode. She was sad, and she remembered how happy she had been, and her excitement from being with him, and rage, rage at him for leaving her, rage at her friends for being high-strung, rage at any boy for not being him and mostly rage at herself for not being good enough.

**Burning ****RED****!**

**Loving him was ****RED****!**

**Oh, losing him was blue like I've never known**

**Missing him was dark grey all along**

**Forgetting him like trying to know somebody you never met**

'**Cause loving him was red**

**Yeah, yeah, red**

**We're burning ****RED**

Thea never knew that Roy was just as crazy missing her as she was missing him. But Roy knew. Roy felt both their pain, because he watched Thea as she wallowed and screamed and cried.

He had done it. He'd found the Hood. And if Thea hadn't been at a social function that night, she would have known his secret identity and neither of them would have to go through this pain. He had been shocked to discover Thea's older brother was the vigilante he had been tracking. Oliver had agreed to take him on as his sid… partner. But his one condition, Roy has to break it off with his sister. Ollie was sure if Thea was connected to two vigilantes someone would figure it out, and he wasn't willing to put her in that danger. So Roy complied. He didn't want to, but eventually he decided if breaking Thea's heart meant keeping her safe, he would. Loving someone meant doing what's best for them, even if they don't realize it. He thought of that after the night he'd broken up with her, and felt a pang in his chest when he realized that yes, he was in love with Thea Queen.

He couldn't let her go after that. He began sneaking onto the Queen mansion, bypassing the security with help from a grudgingly agreeing Oliver. He would climb a tree that grew right past her bedroom window. Hidden by the leaves, Roy stood and watched Thea, part of him hoping she would move on, another part glad she wasn't. But it hurt him every time because he saw the pain he caused her. The worse was when she broke down, crying and cursing his name. As she threw miscellaneous items across the room, Roy felt as if he was being stabbed. He did this to them. His only comfort was Thea only had to suffer half the pain he did.

**And that's why he's spinnin' round in my head**

**Comes back to me, burning red**

**Yeah, yeah**

Thea was once again sitting alone. She had moved past the confinement stage, and was out by the pool. But she still wasn't aware, besides nods hello and 'thank you' when Rosa brought her something to eat.

She didn't know how or why it happened. But suddenly she figured it out. Sitting around thinking about Roy wouldn't help her move on. And she couldn't spend her entire life safe in her palace. She would be hurt, in many ways, many more times. If she stopped her life after one broken heart, she was weak. And right then, she decided she didn't want to be weak. Ollie survived much worse than heartbreak. Queen's were strong and she was a Queen. She searched her mind, and remembered another time, before Roy. She remembered peace, and being happy. Determined, she stood up and went for her keys.

**His love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street**

_Inhale_. Thea breathed in as she pulled her fingers back to her face. She was still for just a moment. _Exhale._ She released her breath and grip at the same time, and watched the Arrow fly.


End file.
